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cineaddict
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Name: Mark
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Los Angeles
Birthday: 7/11/1980
Gender: Male
Interests: gadgets and gizmos, dogs, exploring
Expertise: film production, live events, a visionary
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message me
AIM:  Cineaddict
Member Since:
7/27/2002
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| I have a feeling this will be one of those posts that I look back on in a few years and reflect. It's just one of those days. Is it the weather? The sky is falling, and predicted to rain harder as life goes on. Life does indeed go on, but just not in ways we can ever imagine. Believe me, that's why I'm in this spot.
I have invented time travel. Do you think I'm crazy? It's quite unique and ironic - but here I am, doing it right now. I am communicating to future versions of myself and others simply by the words I am writing right at this very moment Do I have your attention, Mr. Baker? Where are you? How is your life? Are you happy? Where did your crazy career take off to? The thing that sucks is you can answer me, but I can't hear you. I can offer you advice, from the past, but you can't offer me advice from the future. I can be a reminder of things you need to change or fix in your life, but you can't offer me advice of things to do differently to fix your life. That seems cruel to me.
Well, to you, future self.. I offer advice. Do you have a minute?
Don't assume something will always be around. Don't take it for granted when it is around, and if it goes away, make damn sure it wasn't you who let it go.
I would give anything to know who you are right now. If you've evolved from this person that I know you to currently be, then you're a wreck. What are you driving? Did you move to Japan? How is she doing? Do you have any children? How are your parents? How's Ms. Puppy?
Do you feel you wasted your mid-twenties on something that doesn't matter? If you want more advice, it's to go for it - no matter what. This is me, being young and naive - but go for it, screw it. Has that come back to bite you yet? I'm not sure really where to go from here, it seems the words that I was inspired to write have been mis-placed in the expansion of my mind. What do I need? At least just say it, just in case there's a paradox and I can hear you reading this.. maybe I can change then? All I know now is that life is too short to prolong anything. What else matters?
I hope it's not pointless. I wish you the best, Mr. Brightside. Let's try to fix that, shall we?
*sigh*
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| Life is one of those things that everyone has, no one really understands, some like, some don't, and in the end we leave the world to find out all of this was for some bigger picture somewhere.
Does that make sense? In light of all that's going on in my life, I offer this challenge to you.
Laugh - as if your heart was full of joy
Speak - to everyone as if they were a person that you deeply cared for
Smile - as if you just won the lottery
Dance - like you do when you're alone
Cry - as hard as you need to
Love - as if you were the first to discover it
Plant - a seed for your future
Say - I love you to everyone that you do
Wait - for nothing
Hold - like your life depends on it
Yell - in a place that maybe only you know of
Kiss - as if it's your first
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| Ok, so I'm here writing again now and wiping off the dust. It's been so long since I've actually just posted what's on my mind and I actually just read back to my 25th birthday. It's incredible how important these things become.. just to write about life and what happens each day.
It's very therapudic to to read what yourself had to say about things later down the road. I've had Xanga for over 4 years now and that's 4 years of mental records that I've kept. It's truly amazing.
At any rate, tonight isn't any different. I'm still not sure what to say. I feel trapped still and still not sure what I need. Who still reads this anyways? Should I make all of these private entries? Does anyone still care about this dusty old thing?
The time is close, I can feel it.. just not sure where to begin. All I can say now is that I'm ready I think. Oh, how young we still are.
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| I saw you again today, the same as before
The sun set behind your mountains
The Pacific crashed on your shore
Yet still the same place that I know in my mind
And still that same place we left behind
We left your great city searching for answers
Then uprooted again to help battle cancer
Considering options, still looking for truth
Turning over rocks, finding nothing but you
I saw you again today, but now in my mind
I'm again ready to leave this behind
Yet another new start, but like it was before
I find myself needing to be on your shore
From my adolescence like a phoenix has risen
A burning desire to be trapped in your prison
But I refuse to get lost and buried alive
You won't have the satisfaction of winning my life
I'm stronger than you, and am fed by the truth
Like David to Goliath I will defeat you
I will break the shackles and chains from your jail
The walls will crumble and my life will prevail
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| So it seems I've been a Xanga member for 1,339 days today. If you do the math on that it's 3½ years. It's amazing how much has happened in my life since that magical day I joined this 'blog (before they were popular).
That being said, I'm scared of this move to Florida. It is a much cheaper place, and I can focus on what I really need to do with this company and with my family, but I'm scared that all of these decisions will come crashing down in a path of chaotic nonsense surpassed by people who will become more successful than me.
Sure, I know there are people more successful than I am, and to each their own, but the point is I am making a full circle back to Orlando with much more experience, a company that needs to grow, and a wonderful wonderful addition to my life.
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